This is a blog about the hogwash that enters lives on a daily, hourly, second by second basis. For instance, as most of us have seen over the last eight years or so, every sound that pours out of George W. Bush’s mouth is hogwash. No, this is not another “bash W. blog.” I just could not think of a better example of metaphorical hogwash. So, be prepared. Whether it is religion, politics, sports, technology, or your mother’s dirty laundry, it’s all Hogwash.Oct 29 2008
A Day in the Life of Joe the Republican
A Day in the Life of Joe Republican
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare
his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some
tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With
his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His
medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought
to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical
plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for
paid medical insurance — now Joe gets it, too. He prepares his
morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because
some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing
industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo.
His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in
the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right
to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath.
The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko
liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He
walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to
work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation
fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a
contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy
liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous
bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided
that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and
earned more money over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at
his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His
car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating
liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood
home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by
Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural
loans. The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government
liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural
electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired.
His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some
wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of
himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved
Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe
enjoys throughout his day.
Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our
lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should
take care of themselves, just like I have.”
One Response to “A Day in the Life of Joe the Republican”
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I’ve always loved this piece! It’s a perfect illustration of how interconnected we are, and how progressives have always paved the way for all people to prosper.